New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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