Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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