I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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