Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
