tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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