He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
