hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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