OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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