I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
