Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
