And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You may now shotgun with the bride
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
