cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
