i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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