had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
