You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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