I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Randomize
