I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
