There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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