He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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