There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
zippers are such a cool invention
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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