sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
