and she was petting her beer can
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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