i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
