hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
