You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
