I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Alive.
So much puke
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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