I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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