Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
