and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
