i would punch a child for taco bell
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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