help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
