Did you just see the Batmobile???
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
