Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
