Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
