Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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