dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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