brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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