I bet he comes in French.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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