my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
