OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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