capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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