I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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