So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
