you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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