It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
