She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
