Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
