Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
