so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
