everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
