Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
