I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
